Starting a new decade is different for everyone—and different at every stage of life. For me, stepping into my 40s feels like a celebration. My 30s were absolutely transformative: a decade rich in growth, healing, adventure, and stepping into the woman I always dreamed of becoming.
This wasn’t a change in identity—it was a return to who I’ve always been beneath the trauma, insecurity, and self-doubt. I want to share some of the powerful lessons I’ve learned in my third decade—lessons that shaped me, empowered me, and carried me into this new chapter with grace and grit.
Living Authentically
One of the greatest gifts of my 30s has been learning how to live authentically—on my own terms. I no longer shape my life around what others might think. I make decisions rooted in my values, dreams, and inner voice. I show up as myself: real, unfiltered, and unapologetic.
In my 20s, I was consumed by shame and insecurity. I avoided photos. I didn’t share my life openly because I feared judgment. Now? I take all the pictures (seriously, I run out of phone storage), post without overthinking, and embrace experiences—especially solo travel—with confidence and joy. Letting go of the opinions of others has set me free. And that freedom? It’s life-changing.
Self-Confidence: Loving Myself Now
In my 30s, I learned what it means to truly love and accept myself in the present—not just the “future” version of me. I used to believe I could only love myself once I hit a certain weight or looked a certain way. That belief stole joy and held me back.
Now, I love myself through the process. I’m still working on goals, yes—but I’m showing up for life fully as I am. I don’t wait for the “after” to wear the outfit, take the trip, or post the picture. I love myself in the now while honoring the woman I’m still becoming. That shift has opened doors in every area of my life.
Finding My Voice Through Assertiveness
Learning to communicate assertively has been one of my most empowering transformations—especially as a woman navigating professional spaces. In my 20s, I was often underpaid, overlooked, and unsure how to stand up for myself. I lacked boundaries and struggled with self-advocacy.
Now, I speak up with confidence. I’ve negotiated better roles, advocated for clients in male-dominated spaces, and set boundaries where my time and worth weren’t being honored. Assertiveness has been a game-changer in how I show up for myself and others.
Do the Thing (Even If It’s Alone!)
Solo travel has always sparked something in me—but in my 30s, I turned that spark into flames. I didn’t wait for someone to join me. I went. I explored. I lived. From weekend escapes to D.C. to soul-filling trips to Alaska, London, Paris, New England, and even Disney—I experienced life fully and on my terms.
If I had waited on others, I would have missed so many magical moments. Your life is happening now. Take the trip. Eat the cake. Wear the dress. Do the thing. You won’t regret it.
(P.S. Stay tuned—I’ll be sharing all the details of my unforgettable solo birthday trip to Alaska soon!)
Reconnecting with God
I found faith in my 20s and built a strong relationship with God—but life hit hard when I lost my best friend to a tragic act of violence. I was heartbroken and angry, and for a time, I pulled away from God.
But He never pulled away from me.
In my 30s, I felt God nudging me back—and eventually, I walked into Carolina Forest Community Church and began to rebuild my faith. Today, my relationship with God is deeper, more personal, and more meaningful. I’m committed to prioritizing quiet time with Him even in the chaos of life. I’m not perfect, but I’m connected—and that has made all the difference.
Every beautiful moment in my life is covered in gratitude. I wouldn’t be where I am today without God’s grace, mercy, and the healing He’s guided me through.
If you’re stepping into your next chapter—whatever decade you’re in—I hope you know this:
You are allowed to grow.
You are allowed to change.
You are allowed to love yourself now, not just “someday.”
And you are absolutely capable of living a beautiful, bold, purpose-filled life!
- The Wanderlust Therapist